The Mandalorian & Grogu movie is unlikely to save Star Wars from its current decline, as the franchise is considered "legally dead." Disney needed a significant cinematic return to regain cultural momentum, but instead, they chose an uninspired adaptation of a character whose popularity has waned.
Star Wars' Current State #
- "Legally Dead": The franchise is described as being on life support, with "paperwork filed" and "mourning relatives."
- Need for a Grand Return: Disney required a "cultural lightning bolt" or a "statement of intent" to revive the brand.
The Mandalorian & Grogu Movie Announcement #
- Lack of Enthusiasm: The first trailer was met with "thunderous disinterest," despite it being the first theatrical Star Wars release in six years.
- Uninspired Title: The film's title, "The Mandalorian and Grogu," is criticized for its lack of creativity.
Trailer and Visuals #
- Boring and Uninspired: The trailer features "uninspired locations" and "goofy action scenes," resembling a TV episode rather than a cinematic event.
- No Story or Character Information: The trailer reveals "absolutely nothing about the story and characters."
- Soulless and Directionless: The visuals are compared to "AI generated trailers" due to their generic and uncreative nature.
Grogu's Character Dilemma #
- Catch-22: Grogu cannot progress if he remains a wordless baby, but evolving him might negate his "cute baby Yoda" appeal.
- Merchandise Sales: Grogu was a massive merchandise seller, outperforming other Disney Star Wars characters.
- Lack of Narrative Direction: John Favreau supposedly "ran out of things to do with him" after Season 2.
Casting Criticisms #
- Sigourney Weaver's Participation: Her involvement is no longer seen as a "stamp of approval" due to her recent "slop" for paychecks.
- Samuel L. Jackson Comparison: Weaver is likened to Jackson, an actor who "lost the ability to say no" to roles.
- Pedro Pascal's Enthusiasm: Pascal is believed to have "outgrown The Mandalorian" and has little interest in wearing the helmet.
- Speculation that he recorded lines in pajamas, with a stunt double doing the on-set performance.
- Only expected to "achieve great things" if his helmet is destroyed, allowing his "glorious mustache" to be seen.
The Mandalorian's Waning Popularity #
- Irrelevance: "Nobody really gives a [__] about The Mandalorian anymore."
- Streaming vs. Theatrical Success: Its "marginal success on an obscure streaming platform" doesn't translate to "widespread appeal and billion dollar box office halls."
- Business Decision: The movie feels like a "dry clinical business decision" driven by "user trends and merchandise sales" rather than artistic merit.
- Season 3's Failure: Described as a "tedious, laughable disaster" that solidified the show's decline.
- Featured "the horrors of Jack Black and Lizzo trying to act."
- Mando was sidelined for "politically acceptable replacement, Bokeatan."
Bokeatan's Character #
- Generic "Girl Boss": Criticized for lacking personality, causing a "crisis" for the actress playing her.
Overall Assessment of The Mandalorian #
- Mainstream Awareness: Even at its peak, it "never really crossed into mainstream awareness."
- Unfunny Joke: Now perceived as an "unfunny joke with no punchline."
- Reassessment of Previous Seasons: Season 3's disaster caused many to reconsider their positive feelings about the earlier seasons.
- Shallow Entertainment: Despite appearances, it was still "shallow, mindless slop" disguised with "cutesy puppets, shameles nostalgia bait, and halfdecent action scenes."
Future of Star Wars #
- Need for a "Mother of All Bangs": To recover, Star Wars needs a monumental return, not just one successful film, but "several in a row."
- Mandalorian Unlikely to Succeed: "The Mandalorian is not going to accomplish any of those things."
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